I Wish I Had Said That...

About seven years ago, I started posting online about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and defending the tenets and values of Biblical Christianity. At first, I began posting on various message boards; most of which were involved in discussing Christian oriented themes. Then, I found a few athiest/agnostic message boards and decided to meet the challenges they would throw at me regarding Christian faith.

In December of 2001, my husband gave me a very special Christmas gift. He gave me the opportunity to have a website. I was so excited about this! However, I wasn't sure what I wanted my website to be about. While I was trying to figure out what (and for Whom) my website would be about, my husband told me that he had to choose a domain name. He decided to name it Angels-Helper. You can read about the story behind choosing that name here. (Note: I searched but couldn't locate the post! I will include it when I do find it.)

Soon after, I asked him if we could add a message board. One reason for this was the fact that our local newspaper often rejected guest commentary articles that I had written. In my dealings with the editors there, I found out that the reason for the rejections were often due to my conservative ideology and Biblical stances on issues. The articles which I had submitted where in an attempt to counter the one-sided views of the newspaper's liberal commentators that dominated the editorial pages and letters section. The paper did print a few of my commentaries, but it always took several submissions to get them in print. Sometimes they would edit the titles or leave out one or two points made within the commentary, but most of the original work was left intact. This showed me that it wasn't my writing inabilities that made them reject my original submissions. It was more likely the ideological opinions expressed that they didn't approve of.

Fast forward to April of 2005. I discovered blogging! I was pleased that I had found a forum where I could have my say without the censorship that often occurs in the liberal newspapers. I had found my niche!

However, along with such a freedom comes a LOT of responsibility. Especially when I had chosen to be a spokesperson through sharing God's Word. It can be a daunting task!

I knew that being an imperfect servant of the Lord would mean that I would make some mistakes.

I knew that being honest about God's Word towards those who do not accept it would cause controversy.

I knew that there might be instances where denominational differences between Christians could cause arguments.

I knew that choosing to be a "Godblogger" (a title chosen by the Biola University GodBlog Conference organizers) would be a much more serious subject than, say, if I had chosen to discuss gardening.

I knew that discussing God, Jesus, Creation, and the Bible would carry along a burder of responsibility like no other.

I knew that discussing the Gospel of Christ meant sharing the bad news (which includes sharing the consequences for sin, the need for confession of sin and the need for repentance), as well as the Good News of Jesus Christ, (including His sacrificial death, burial, resurrection to life, and hope eternal for believers) would draw many different people and their opinions to this blog.

I knew that because different people would read what I write. They would then form their own opinions about it which would inevitably invite ideological discussions that might turn ugly.

I knew that comments might run the gamut between those that give praise for our Lord and Savior and His Word all the way to the other side of the spectrum which would include ridicule, disdain and accusations.

I knew that some would probably presume that I am hateful for what I have written.

At the GodBlog conference, someone mentioned that if we fear saying something wrong on our blogs, we would never write anything! Good point! Writing is always something that needs to carefully be considered. However, no one is perfect nor can anyone ever be perfect in such an endeavor. If each of us waited to say only the perfect things, we could never, ever even get started...amen?

But God's Word IS perfect. This is (or should be) our standard of measurement for all that we do and say as Christians.

Sharing the mercy, love and grace of God is the easy part. Informing people of what the Bible tells us about holiness, righteousness, and the ultimate justice of God is often a very touchy subject and is not as easy to convey lovingly to those who are perishing. But the Gospel requires both. Why? Because God has all of those attributes.

I have found that sometimes I have been successful with some topics, yet at other times I have not been so successful. It may have something to do with mixing politics with evangelism. I am learning that there are some topics that I may not have handled correctly. For this reason, I want to offer a sincere apology to all who have come here and have been hurt by my words. This wasn't my goal. That isn't my heart. But just like in any endeavor, a person's true heart and motives can sometimes be misconstrued because improper words were used while attempting to minister.

Have you ever read something written by another person and you've thought..."I wish I had said that?" I had that experience this morning while reading a very moving guest commentary in the Christian newspaper called, "The Good News, Etc.." In my opinion, the words of the author applied all of the attributes of God simultaneously and in a very loving way. If you read it and happen to disagree, please share why.

First and foremost, I ask for forgiveness from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Second, I'd just like to offer up my sincere apologies to those dear acquaintances and commentors here who may have been hurt by my words, including Thomas, Boo, Joe, Mamalicious, JJ, Juan, Clandestine, MadGayHousewife, and Crackerlilo (if I've left anyone out please let me know and I will add you). I have come to realize that perhaps I am not the person who should even attempt to minister to homosexual men or lesbian women. I also want to apologize to my dear formerly gay friends Stephen Bennett, Susan Smith, DL Foster and Dean Greer for anything that I may have said, done, or have written that would have hurt any of you or hampered your respective ministries in any way.

In an email a while back, I shared an analogy with my friend Susan in Jerusalem. It came from my training in the cosmetics industry. It goes like this:

When in conversation, the way a person words what they are trying to convey really matters. Take the following two sentences.

"You have a face that could stop a clock."

"When I look at you, time stands still."

They, in effect, say similar things, but one can literally be seen as hurtful and a put down while the other compliments and builds up.

My dear friend Susan! Your kindness towards me; your loving words towards me; your attempts to help me realize that many words can hurt where few words can often build up; your silence when you know that I needed to hear from the Lord; your encouragement directed at me in those few times when I "get it right"; your gentle correction even when I have completely blown it in those times of fleshly error; your unwillingness to condemn me (even when I probably deserved it); and most of all your steadfast faith, love and support in Jesus Christ radiates towards me and has been such a blessing in my life!!

The love of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, shines through like a bright light that has successfully pierced my dark, fleshly heart and revealed what God would have me do, as well as what He would not have me to do. THANK YOU...DEAR SISTER IN CHRIST!

Susan, I know that you have been praying for me for quite some time now. Thank you so much for all of your prayers! It took a while, but God's timing is perfect. I will be praying ever so much more fervently for guidance. I may still have moments where I blow it, stumble and fall again, but He is always there to lift me up!

I want to thank my bible study leader and new friend Mimi for sharing great wisdom from God's Word during our talk yesterday. Your wonderful input and the influence through our current Bible study has helped me so tremendously!

Thank you, also, to all of the aforementioned commentors listed above. It has been through your prompting that I needed to get back on my knees and pray to the Lord for forgiveness. I hope that each of you might forgive me as well.

I may not create any new blogposts about this particular topic again for quite some time. However, each and every one of you are welcome to visit and comment on any of the new topics I plan to cover in the coming days, weeks, and months.

God bless,

Christine