Wednesday, July 06, 2005

For the Joy

For the Joy

Buffeted, blow after blow
At first I wanted to strike back
To return the hurt, the pain, the insults
After all this was unjust

But something in my heart restrained me
Even though I had the strength and power to defend myself
Even though I could easily overpower this adversary
I held still and did not utter a word

Then in the midst of the tears
I saw it
It was not me they were striking at
It was not me they were trying to hurt
They struck out in blindness and rage

I was only the convenient target for their misery
I was their relief for their own suffering
I was their excuse for their unwillingness to look into their own hearts
And now my silence, my humility would speak to them of this

I saw myself in a room full of men beating a man
I saw myself following Him as He carried His cross
I saw Him nailed to it
And He looked at me and said

If you would be my disciple
You must carry your cross and follow me

For a brief moment I saw through His eyes
The beating He took
The silence He held
The restraint He showed
And the love of His heart as He spoke these words

'Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing'

In that moment the abuse I was taking made sense
In that moment I saw heaven opened up
In that moment I saw how this turned the heart of my
abuser
In that moment I saw His joy at His disciple

For the joy set before Him
He endured
So shall I, so shall I

Written by Rocky Chambers

Thanks Rocky, for sharing your beautiful gift of prose with me. I pray that all those who come here and read will be blessed by it!

4 comments:

Thomas said...

Aww, Christine, was that prose-poem for me? I'm touched. I hope I'm not giving you too much of a hard time. Christian fundamentalism is nothing if not a masochistic way of life, but I don't want to feed into that.

Enjoy your imagined self-crucifixion. I'm sure it must make you feel better ... somehow.

Christinewjc said...

Actually Thomas...no. It wasn't for you. It wasn't even about me. I posted it for a Christian friend who is facing a LOT of persecution right now. In fact, I know of several missionaries, pastors and evangelists who face much opposition and insult in their work.

Your little rants here don't even compare. So don't flatter yourself.

Thomas said...

I'm sure it's tough being a Christian in America these days. It's always hard being in the majority. I know that in New York I'm surrounded by my fellow Jews, scoffers, and homosexuals, and sometimes it gets me down too. I try so hard to be rebellious and on the cutting edge, but I'm always just two steps behind the bourgeois herd.

My rants may be little, but they're all I've got. I promise to work harder in the future.

Take care, darling.

Jojo said...

Powerful! And even more so after seeing the Passion and getting a better glimpse of what that beating was like.

I can only pray to have that attitude. To keep my mouth shut and just pray - give it to God and ask Him to forgive them for their unbelief. That's a hard one. The words hurt - the unbelief hurts. But we must leave it in God's hands...in His time.

Thanks for the reminder, Christine. Thank you for a heart that's full of love for Christ and your servant attitude to share the truth.